A Sunday natter from the desk of Sara – Resonate to Forgiveness

Forgiveness (film)

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Yesterday I was blessed to be asked to be part of a test group to trial some new essences and extremely grateful for the learnings I was given during the trial. The essences were recently made by a friend and fellow Kinesiologist who is an extremely beautiful and spiritual person who’s ability to give to others comes from a place of unconditional love and respect for herself and those around her. Needless to say the essences were truly amazing and I experienced healings of which I did not understand although I knew I had to forgive myself and others – What for? – that information is to come to me as I take the forgiveness essence over the next few weeks but the one thing I do know is that I need to ask the questions and meditate on them for the answers. I am looking forward to this journey and more learning.

I have just googled some FAQ on forgiveness which are definitely worth sharing and also very interesting:

What is the difference between interpersonal forgiveness and intrapersonal forgiveness?

When we practice interpersonal forgiveness, the goal is reconciliation; both parties mut be involved.

Intrapersonal forgiveness takes place only within the individual. It does not require the interaction between two parties, and reconciliation (although it may happen) is not the goal.

If I practiced forgiveness, would I be healthier?

It’s very likely that you would. Bearing a grudge and refusing to forgive can cause chronic stress to the body as well as the mind.

Lack of forgiveness can create an avalanche of stress hormones.

  • It increases production of cortisol and epinephrine, which leads
    to changes in heart rate and blood pressure.
  • It raises levels of catecholamine and CD8, which suppresses
    the immune system thus increasing the risk of viral infection.
  • Leads to the release of histamines, which can trigger severe
    bronchoconstriction in people with asthma.

Chronic stress also…

  • Alters insulin levels.
  • Alters the acid concentration in the stomach.
  • Causes plaque buildup in the arteries.
  • Causes or intensifies aches and pains.
  • Raises anxiety levels.
  • Causes depression.
  • Interferes with intimate and social relationships.
  • Affects sleep and appetite.
  • Affects job performance.

Why is forgiveness so hard?

Forgiveness may be hard because of such factors as….

  • type and length of relationship
  • history of hurtful behavior
  • perceived intentionality of the offender
  • elapsed time
  • the risk of change
  • biological deficits (see next FAQ)

What are the biological factors in forgiveness?

Brain imaging technology has shown that an unhealthy anterior cingulate gyrus and basal ganglia can cause…

    • problems in shifting attention
    • worrying, rumination
    • holding on to hurts from past – inability to relinquish grudges
    • cognitive inflexibility
    • conflict avoidance

These problems can greatly reduce an individual’s ability to forgive.

Also, researchers have associated the temporal lobes and the deep limbic system with spiritual behavior and spiritual experiences. These parts of the brain can affect…

    • personality and mood stability
    • accurate reading of social situations
    • control over temper
    • access to spiritual experience
    • positive mood and emotional tone

These factors can make it easier for an individual to forgive.

Are there psychological factors that influence the ability to forgive?

Not surprisingly, people who are inclined to forgive tend to be more emotionally stable; they are easy- going, less moody, more agreeable, and better able to handle negative emotions and criticism.

People who are inclined to forgive have a high capacity for empathy, whereas a narcissist is least likely to be able to forgive.

Narcissism is present in everyone to varying degrees. A certain degree of self-focus and self-regard is healthy. But a truly narcissistic individual – someone with a personality disorder — lacks empathy, is hypersensitive to criticism, has a sense of entitlement, and is insensitive to the needs of others. These are the individuals who, when they experience an injury, use vengeful fantasies in order to repair their self-esteem.

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