Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery

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I have blogged about the Secret Sex Lives of Kids and have now turned my thoughts to how children actually do develop and the “Teens” are what could be described as an interesting time, for many reasons, not least of which is the challenge that occurs between child and parent.

From around the age of 12 to 15 it is an extremely hormonal time for children (not sure they would even like being called children) – the brain is moving into a different mode and it is the onset of the mating ritual as nature intended. Because the impulses of sexual energy are so high, they become very emotional – You Don’t Say !  The large changes in hormones also drive dramatic behavioural changes.

In small children the brain is oriented to survival and kids will cling to their mother, however, when they enter the hormonal stage things change and the primitive instincts in the brain take over. This is a time in nature when the primal kicks in and the ties between child and parent change. It is natural that they pull away from parents and bond more to others that share the same sexual energies.

As they continue to develop, their bodies release pheromones which attract the opposite sex. This is the move from daggy clothes and “Urgh he’s got cooties” to the latest fashion and “He’s hot” (I’m know that the thoughts and expressions are more sexually charged but let’s keep it as this level for the sake of modesty -lol!).  For both sexes the body develops faster then the brain’s logic capacity at this stage. Urges begin to effect them and surge throughout their bodies. Due to the chemical changes in the brain teenagers begin to act almost on instinct – they become very centered on themselves. This is the “Aren’t your family important to you anymore?” stage.

Sometimes the serotonin and noradrenaline levels in the body become unbalanced which can lead to manic or depressive behaviours and disorders. The worst of which can lead to teen suicide. Some other symptoms of this imbalance are aggravation, anger and the inability to express emotion. You can adjust the levels of serotonin and noradrenaline intuitively and changing the diet can help as well. Make sure you get the protein/carb ratio’s in the diet right and include lipids and sterols as they are necessary for the balance of different hormones in the brain. However being told anything at this age is like a red flag to a bull as teenagers have a tendency to think they know everything – this is part of the actual brain development. The frontal lobe is not yet fully developed. So, this is where they fail to realise the repercussions of their actions and tend to act without thinking.

At this point the body is developing rapidly in so many different ways it is hard for a child to remain balanced. Parents tend to seem lost as to what to do and are unable to make decisions for their children, whilst the children themselves are behaving what can only be described as irrationally. I guess it is easy to forget that at this time within the child is a combination of young adult and child that is under enormous development change within their bodies. Let’s not forget that it took us a long time to figure things out and that some of us still have not managed to figure things out – umm, pause to remember those times – may I say, it’s not a pretty !

It’s normal for children at this age to be interested in religion and be curious about many different beliefs which can include everything from cults, satanism and good old spirituality. As a note of caution it’s a really good time to watch what children are doing intuitively as they grow and develop perception and have many spiritual experiences. Because children are much more intuitive than adults they sometimes mistake whether it is intuition or spirit at work which can lead to them being misled. Those children that allow spirit into their space for ‘more power’ are allowing the spirit to take energy from them and they give their power away which is how children sometimes end up in cults.

Many children are so open to the world that they are susceptible to becoming victims. This is where all the hard work you have put in so far really needs to be enforced – it’s ok for them to stick up for themselves and to say no. One of the most impotant (freudian slip – should read important) things a parent can do with a teen is to let them know that their sexual urges are not wrong and they are entirely normal & natural but at the same time developing self responsibility about the fact that they are giving part of themselves when they indulge in a sexual relationship. This brings up the question of whether oral sex is classed as sex – lawfully the answer is Yes. This is the ‘You can only do so much to coach and guide but ultimately your child will make up their own mind’ stage.  Better to have been there as a parent for them and provided an open and honest forum for discussion than to have to pick up the pieces at a later stage.

It’s around this time that children realise that they don’t have to listen to everything their parents say, and this too, believe it or not is another stage in development. This is where the little darlings decide to go out on their own to do things !!!  Given that childen are not considered legally responsible until the age of 18 this is where it get’s interesting for parents but if ‘anything’ does happen, no matter what it might be, you as a parent should not feel like a failure – remember everything we have talked about – the hormones, the changes etc – However that does not give anyone the right to relinquish their parental responsibilities.  If you have always worked with your child to have good self worth and is therefore capable of making good decisions – what’s the problem, right?

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