recovery on 8 March 2010 - day 67

Image by Leonard John Matthews via Flickr

What is Addiction
An addiction is when a person becomes powerless to stop a destructive behavior, causing their life to become unmanageable. “Some people consider addictions to be simply bad habits that can be conquered by willpower alone, but many people become so dependent on a behavior or a substance that they no longer see how to abstain from it. They lose perspective and a sense of other priorities in their lives” (“Introduction,” A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, v.)

Marijuana Addiction

The chronic marijuana user is medicating their emotions. Did they set out to do this on purpose? Of course not. No one says “Oh, I’d like to avoid feeling my emotions today, so I think I will smoke some marijuana.”  It obviously does not happen like that. But what does happen is that anyone who has smoked weed every single day for any length of time can tell you, they slowly begin to fall into a pattern where they naturally will use the drug in order to medicate unwanted feelings. This is especially damaging to younger people who are still learning how to properly process and handle emotions in a mature way. Instead of learning and growing through the emotional process, they are simply medicating those emotions away using marijuana. When you get high on marijuana, it erases your current mood. It eliminates and seriously minimizes emotional turmoil in your life. Say you had a bad day at work, and you are angry at your boss. Normally, a person would hang on to this emotional state for several hours, and they may talk about it with friends and family in order to process the feelings. But if they instead come home from work and smoke some marijuana, the emotional distress they were feeling is vaporized with their high. It is erased. Some remnants of it may remain, but the intensity of the emotions and the amount of time that they think about it is greatly diminished.

Now multiply this example out by every single day. Chronic marijuana smokers do this over and over again, every single day of their lives, using it to deal with every single unwanted emotion. Over a period of years this stunts emotional growth. Even if you are an adult, you are stunting your emotional maturity and keeping yourself stuck in a very immature way of dealing with life. It all comes back to our emotions on how we are avoiding them through the use of the drug.

 Love Addiction

Love addiction involves a pattern of frequent relationships that often begin with intense passion and end relatively  quickly. A variation of this is involvement in long term relationships with dramatic highs and lows, thus simulating the range of emotions that are found in short term relationships. As the pattern continues, the negative impact that the “low cycles” have on a persons esteem becomes greater and greater. Of course, this then causes a more definite need for a new relationships or commitment to an ongoing relationship (can’t let go even when it is over).

Those involved in a pattern of love addiction do not do this knowingly. It is their absolute belief that the person currently targeted is “the one that was meant for them” and they will be together for the rest of their lives. In fact, it is this exact thought process that provides so much comfort and relief. Love addicts tend to have a low self esteem, are uncomfortable in social situations and possess a sometimes debilitating immaturity when it comes to personal relationships of any type. Intensity is what drives the relationship not reality. Love and sexual addiction overlap in many ways. Feelings quite often associated with love addiction are abandonment, failure and devastating loss. The root of most love addiction can be found in early relationships, for example childhood trauma involving abuse, death, abandonment, parental neglect, parental domination or performance pressure.

You are the only person standing between yourself and achieving everything you ever dared dream of. Whatever has happened in your past to cause you to be where you are today, is just that, it’s your past. Is it does not have to be your future.  Addiction of any type is nothing more than a unique way of regulating your emotions and avoiding facing whatever it is that has hurt you so much and put you in the place that you are now . When we go through life it is perfectly normal to experience a whole range of human emotions, from being happy, sad, to scared and angry and anything else in between. Fear is a part of every person’s emotional make up.

A desire to understand yourself:

  1. Suffering is not basically a medical problem, even if the body is affected, but that with suffering goes a misunderstanding of life.
  2. These misunderstandings stem from patterns of fear not love.
  3. What you think & do in life is vitally important.
  4. You have the power, responsibility & freedom if you choose to have it.
  5. That your choice, made by your thoughts, creates your reality.
  6. If you don’t like your reality, it’s your mind that needs re-educating to produce positive results for you, not other peoples mind.
  7. That in understanding & learning about yourself brings you self love as you do so which means you can truly love others in the right way which brings peace, harmony, intuition, unity & abundance

All you have to do to achieve a wonderful future full of everything you ever dreamed of is:

  1. Choose to change.
  2. Say what you want to achieve and believe it.
  3. Be willing to change.
  4. Be willing to explore what happened in your childhood or life since then that created the emotions you are pushing down deep inside yourself.
  5. Be willing to let go of any beliefs which do not serve you in your life now and will not take you to where you want to be.
  6. Be willing to forgive those that helped shape where you are today.
  7. Get some help be it a 12 step addiction program, therapy of some sort or whatever resonates with you – this is too big to do alone, recognise that you need help & be willing to take it.
  8. Stop hanging around those who are addicted to what you are
  9. Take control of your mind daily, taking baby steps first and reduce the need for the addiction until you have eliminated it.
  10. Want to live a bigger life than what you are living
  11. Spend time with those who are empowering and positive.
  12. Eat good food and use nutritional supplements to aid your body through change.
  13. Exercise regularly and try yoga and meditation to calm the mind
  14. Commit to relearn/rebuild healthy relationships & maybe even rebuild sexual values/boundaries.
  15. Integrate new learnings & feelings of love for yourself into healthy relationships and your new way of life.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sflynn91
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:34:10

    Love the advice at the end of the post. Lots of good stuff to think about. Thanks.


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